July 10, 2013

  • Not a Jiffy Man

    Not a Jiffy Man*

    From behind her desk

    over gold rimmed glasses

    her voice crackled an announcement.

     

    You will have your ham hocks

    next time you come in.

     

    His smile spread on his bearded face

    from below a crooked nose.

     

    Then I must bring you something in return,

    perhaps one of my desserts.

     

    He ambled into her office and

    placed a savory pie atop her desk.

     

    Here is one made with fresh strawberries.

    I hope you like it.

     

    His step had more bounce 

    his gait quicker from injections

    into his withered spine.

     

    A gigantic ham hock 

    peaked through the glass cover

    of the ceramic casserole dish.  

    Its shear size startled him

    and activated his seldom wet salivary glands.

     

    I brought some cornbread too.

    I figured you liked corn bread

    but your not a “Jiffy Man.”

    No sir, you look like a man 

    who likes it from scratch.

     

    His smile was wide as a flooded river.

    Ham hocks in one hand, cornbread in the other

    he pranced out the door

    proud not to be a  “Jiffy Man.”

     

    * Jiffy is the name of a popular corn muffin mix.

    Note:  This poem is NOT about a personal experience — I did not get ham hocks and cornbread. 

Comments (11)

  • Hehe! I loved this one! (although I’m all for jiffy!)

  • That’s a blast from the past. Mom used those Jiffy mixes all the time. Too bad you didn’t get the ham hocks.

  • Lol! I like your note.*”Gait” not “gate”.A happy poem!!!! :)

  • HA! I love this! Great fun poem! Wish I could “rec” it a bazillion times! Sometimes a woman likes a Jiffy Man and other times she likes a Betty Crocker Man…wait…that didn’t come out right. Hmmm…Nevermind.I like pinto beans with my cornbread!HUGS!!!

  • once I weighted one of my pt. and he said,”mama has a frying pan and a Lone Star Card(our food stamps here in Texas)

  • I make great cornbread from scratch….but it’s not my favorite….I do however love this poem p.s….we have a gate on our outdoor shower, if we don’t inject it’s withered spine with lubricant occasionally it will refuse to open 

  • Me too, we had the box in our cupboard. @murisopsis - 

  • Ha Ha, error corrected. @mlbncsga - 

  • Thanks, I appreciate all editorial comments. I made the correction.@JustGoingAnywhere - 

  • @vexations - I would never have noticed but for @JustGoingAnywhere - however either form works in my case 

  • Dear Friend,I would consider you to be lucky with ham hocks and with Jiffy Corn Bread Mix, for it is soul food–Delicious and wonderful.  I stoop to Martha White, but I know the best corn meal of all is the stone ground at Falls Mill, a few miles from where I spent my childhood.I made a PBS radio friend a dinner that my mother would have proudly served, and we all ate hungrily from something ingrainued in us long ago–What stupid people label as overcooked, the food of much of the mid-south, and when that garden was in and the milk check a little better, we might have had some flavoring from the ham shavings long ago.Here is the truth of southern cooking.  Folks have born and raised there kids on what they could afford, and it is not over cooked with vitamins swimming in the broth, for if you cook it right, then there is not a lot of liquid, and the taste is addicting.  I have almost never made green beans for other regional doyennes of cookery that they did not rave about the flavor.I wish that I could do a cookbook with the recipes of folks I have known, but the problem is–We used no recipes, and all things passed on to generations.  I know how the bread batter is supposed to feel and when all of the kettles have simmered just long enough.  People can enjoy their cerviche, but, please let me show someone how to fry a cat fish before my life is over.  I actually respect Cracker Barrel’s attempts to come up with mid-south cooking, and I like sweet tea made the right way until it is so cold that it almost makes your teeth chatter.Much of the year, I deal with California’s half raw cuisine, or fully raw.  I’ve cooked through much of Moosewood, and Holy Cow; Now everyone needs gluten free.  I see the trends beginning there in food, and most make their way east, so these raw vegetable and fresh fruit juices are going to sustain life, and we’re headed for even more raw fish–and now and then I find something most enjoyable.  Most times it just taste like it’s, “An acquired taste.”  I was way happier with our old San Francisco lentil soup and Irish soda bread, or sensual avocado and tomato with sprouts on whole grain bread.I love your writings, but I would have loved it more had it been you with the ham hock and Jiffy Corn bread, for we loose something if we fear such would make us ignoble.  I do not doubt that Panne Angelicus will be the inspiration of the second coming now that people know iron skillet corn bread satisfies so many of us and call us homeward.I know a lot to praise about my Alabama birth and my Tennessee raising and so much of it lingers, for it fed my body, and my soul at times when my hunger was so deeply rooted beyond the food.Glory be to the home folks, and I hope the gardens are coming in.  Love and Blessing, Barb”Pinkhoneysuckle,” may be discussed on a program with Kathryn Raaker, B4 64 in that Knoxville area.  Thank you for all of the loving support, and you are one of the people I do not want to lose the writings of.

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